How to stop worrying and start living.
Fightclub , (Palahniuk) Nothing to do with the question :-) It's just a very good book to read in English, and a way of reminding that it shouldn't be all about personal development either. Changing your life to get better, yeah, but looking for a ready-made model to conform to, no.
That's kind of my conclusion: six years ago, it was scary. Since then, I've published a book, found a job, set up a structure, met friends, fulfilled dreams, written other stuff. I'm still in a precarious contract, I don't have a lot of savings, no lovers, but overall, it's a great life.
Finally, the notebook, as Fabien Perrin suggests, is a good idea. But I don't use it the same way he does. At first, I kept a diary, but it was very negative. To decompress, I told everything I couldn't stand: I stirred up negatives. Then I changed my way. I try, every day, to start with a quote or a sentence from a book I'm reading.
It was a long post, but the question is paramount, do not stay with an unsatisfying life when changing it is at hand. A little bit every day. Not for a dream life sold by some coach whose cam is above all a dream, but to feel better, to go in the right direction.
If you want to leave me a comment to tell me if certain points speak to you, it will allow me to better answer similar questions later!
Stop the past. "Shit happens" as they say. what is past... is past. Will not happen again. And luckily, you have no control over that anymore… Focus on the things you can impact NOW
Focus . You can't be good everywhere. Like you can't advance 20 projects at the same time. Focus on 1/2 key goals and drop the rest - or make a list for later. I made a video about it, you can see it here.
Stop comparing yourself to others - really! I take the example of bodybuilding, but it is valid for absolutely EVERYTHING. We all have facilities. I find it easy to gain muscle but difficult to lose fat. Friends we reverse it: difficult to gain muscle, and visible abs. The fight is not the same. We never compare.
Reset your time on the networks. We - in general - tend to spend a lot of time on social networks. If it's something that doesn't serve you - not related to your goal #1 and #2, eg building a brand on Instagram - you should cut your time on these networks.
Social: I joined a club . No matter what interest you have, there are other people who share it. Even the most individual thing you can find (me, it's apnea, you see, it's not even like tennis where it takes two). I met people with whom I had a base of exchange, it created a regularity for me, it relearned me to manage calendar constraints. I then registered in another association, I met other people. I opened up.
Affective: no, I haven't found a lover. Paradoxically, I improved my emotional life not by looking for more people, but by getting rid of a certain number of people.In fact, I was so lacking in self-confidence that I accepted being the doormat of people who didn't wish me well. Negative people. Who saw life in black. who never called me back. Who didn't encourage me. By dint of running, meditating, I felt better with myself. By dint of seeing other people, I felt less dependent on the few people around me. And I saw that I had surrounded myself with people with whom I only shared my negativity. Toxic people, I took them out of my environment. For others, I changed my behavior towards them. If they don't call me back, I don't call them back. If they only call me to complain and don't listen, I don't call them back. If the criticisms they give me don't open me up to self-improvement, I don't remember them. And that's as much energy recovered.
In the examples I have given, it all starts with small steps. Léa Tirard-Hersant rightly recommends the coumpound effect . The effect of cumulative benefits. You have to start with very small things, in order to create habits, which Olivier Perruzi also mentions . In meditation, it is more beneficial to start with 2 minutes of just looking at the birds through the window between getting up and having coffee for breakfast than to do once a quarter of an hour and then nothing. Same for running. Small habits need to grow.
But everything I just said is aimless, directionless. These are life-changing things for good regardless of where you live, your dream, your current situation. Then, indeed, you have to know where to go. The hardest thing is less how to get there (which we often focus on) than knowing precisely what we want. Because when you grab the end of a stick, the other end necessarily comes with it. Visualizing life as we would like it, in a realistic, personal, emotional way, allows us to move there.
And finally, read. By reading these different books, I realized that there are quite a few that say the same thing. But between the bottom, which we really understand, and the fact that it percolates and changes, you have to hit the same nail often so that it sinks in solidly!
Okay, first things first, in order to bring about a change in your life, you must target what you need to change. I understand that you may feel like everything is going wrong and you have to work on all of it, but without sorting out a sequence as well as what you are prioritizing, it is eventually going to go down the drain. And if not that, after achieving a good number of goals, you may still feel like you haven't done enough.
In order to avoid all of this from taking place, you should jot down exactly what you want to change and which of the target tasks are a priority.
Once you're past that, you want to answer the question of how. How are going to bring this change? what actions are you going to take? because let's be completely honest, all of us want to bring a change in our lives but this part is exactly what makes the difference. If you are able to figure out what it is that needs to be done in order to change everything, you're already halfway there.
If you want to learn how to change your life completely, be prepared to say goodbye to your comfort zone. The very essence of growth is to move beyond what you've experienced before.
You have to break new ground.
Changing your life completely means that you have to set goals according to your desired life and remain fully committed to them. You have to take 100% responsibility for yourself and keep pushing yourself to achieve more and more. When you think of changing your life, being persistent and patient are two important factors that you must possess.
When you start chasing your dreams to change your life, you might feel like no results are showing up and may want to give up. However, these are the times when you are supposed to push yourself even more. One must have grit and resistance because changing your life means coming across numerous failures. But if you remain patient and persist those days, you will have a good time too. If you don't give up, even after facing failure and seeing no results, you will definitely succeed one way or the other.
One word: persistence.
If you want to change your life, the first thing to do is learn how to be persistent. You have to be able to look at failure right into the eyes and tell it that you are scared of it. Even if you fail a hundred times, you have to find the strength and power to get up again and try once more. Without persistence, the failures and struggles that are required to change your life will make you tired and you may want to give up. But it's your ability to look for hope in the darkest of times and find a way out is that is going to provide you with victory. Whatever goal you have in your life, whether it is related to fitness, health, or finances, make sure you don't give up because of failure. Dont give it the right to control what you do. Keep trying harder than before to move one step closer to your goals.
So, I think the essential component for change is 'realization', understanding that there are some things you wish to work on. If you have the realization, the motivation will come itself!
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