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My philosophy is DIRENONISM .
95% of my problems today at 50 are due to the fact that at some point I said YES when I should have said NO; saying yes gives you instant comfort, but responsibilities and fears for life or for a long time; saying no, it puts you in discomfort or exposes you to the anger of others for a relatively short time, but gives you strength for the rest of your life, unconditional freedom for the future, examples:
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Do not hesitate to say no to your superior for work that you consider incorrect or non-compliant.
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Say no to your kids' incessant demands for bogus purchases.
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Say no to malicious advances from co-workers.
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Say no to co-workers who try to take advantage of your kindness to buy lunch or free transportation
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Say no to unknown hitchhikers.
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Say no to professional beggars who knock on your doorstep, or on the street.
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Say no to visitors without an appointment at home or at work.
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Say no to invitations for no apparent reason.
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Say no to offers to participate in activities you don't like.
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Tell your kids no to excursions with a bunch of friends you don't know.
Acting stupid around certain people when I was a teenager. I think I recovered today but fortunately we are changing.
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Not knowing how to take care of myself when it was time for me to do so.
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Being disrespectful to my parents as a teenager. We just have two parents and they are irreplaceable.
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Being lazy in my last year of high school.
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Not having found my academic path for my career immediately after high school.
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Letting myself be led on by people who weren't worth it.
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Feeling guilty for things I didn't do.
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Not having saved more from my first little job.
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To have done as much for futile things in my eyes today.
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Not having believed in myself and my means enough to get on in life.
Had I been asked this question 5 years back, there would have been a long list of things I regretted doing but now, over the years, I have learned that regret does not do good. If anything, it takes away the opportunity to learn from your experiences, be those bad or good.
So, if I were to list things that I regret, it would be comprised of the things I did not do in my life when I had the chance. For example, being more expressive towards the people who needed to hear it, standing up for myself when I needed it the most and certainly, bungee jumping.
- not defending myself when I should've and perhaps needed it the most.
- Understood more sooner than later that it's not my job to save the world, not at the cost of my own physical and mental wellbeing.
- Not being able to respond to hate with love because I didn't understand that the other person was just hurt.
- Making friends with people who didn't value me and giving up important relationships for them.
- Trusting a friend with the biggest trauma of my life.
- Letting myself be fooled into thinking that something was inherently wrong with me as a child
- Not starting sooner with my career
- Not being able to take initiative in my life due to the fear of constant failure.
- Wasting too much time with work when I could've spent time with my family members.
- hasting things instead of letting them happen at the right time.
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