Ramsay44
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Credentials & Highlights
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Joined Jan 19, 2022
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Living in Amsterdam, Netherlands
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Last active Jan 21, 2022
Because they only have access to this reality, without any point of comparison. What happens within the walls of the house represents the only known universe… I remember that I was very surprised and destabilized when I understood that my best friend's mother did not practice sexual activity with her. her, whereas it was my case since my early childhood with my own mother. In this kind of situation, it's the earthquake because it's a whole system that is called into question. In the absence of access to other realities and sometimes for fear of reprisals, child victims of abuse are often silent, as I have been for years.
Do you mean screaming, screaming, rolling on the ground? Or kicking people, hitting them because he doesn't get what he wants? At what age, in what situation? If he is aggressive, rude towards others, I make the remark very firmly directly in public and I apologize to the person concerned! At home I talk about it again with him, explaining why it's not correct and telling him never to do it again. If it is a whim to obtain something, I am a very very firm (I maintain the no), and I ask to stop this whim immediately under pain of returning immediately to the house, not to take it with me anymore in a store. Do not underestimate the power of "manipulation" of children who very quickly determine the limits of adults. ;-) If I see that it's linked to a state of fatigue at the end of the day, I show myself to be more conciliatory, I try to appease and reassure. In any case, I take a moment at home when we get back to talk about the incident again, I ask him what pushed him to behave like that, I dissect the whole event with him and I explain why it was not appropriate. I ask questions, sometimes we are amazed at what is going on in these little heads. But at the moment (in public) I remain firm enough to make sure it doesn't go any further. It is necessary to make the difference between spontaneous behavior which comes from ignorance of what to do or not to do in a given situation - certain clumsiness is acceptable in this context - and repetitive and aggressive behavior which is either the sign of a lack of framework and limits by the parents, or a deeper problem: want to get parents'/people's attention (I exist) repetitions of behaviors seen at home by the older ones or by the parents themselves (we are the first models of our children, let's not forget that) discharge from stress experienced at school (aggressive classmates towards them) or physical and mental fatigue etc It happened that my son, who had a good tongue and a sense of repartee, made remarks that were very surprising and daring for his age but which were "right" on the merits. People might be "shocked" and find him rude or impertinent, but young children don't know the hypocrisy of "decency". In this very specific case, I was not scolding but I was explaining that it could hurt the person but that he was fundamentally right.